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Harlequin

Harlequin

Her incredible ascent Helped not hindered By her working-class accent And her gnarly grin Drunk on power Not barley gin This ex BBC presenter That now presents herself As Harlequin That enjoyed The introduction of the bedroom tax Insanely happy To swing the austerity...

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*Joker

*Joker

This cunning Conniving Contriving fox Let loose In this chicken coup Would have us all Covered In guts, blood and poop But at least The chickens Would be clean For they will be Washed and bathed In Chlorine This providing us With the perfect metaphor Those thinking...

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C.old A.s T.hatcher Woman

C.old A.s T.hatcher Woman

This woman Who managed To climb to The top of the tree And commit The most audacious Cat burglary Wearing her trademark Kitten heels The coveted prize She managed to snatch Had the party faithful Referring to her As the next Maggie Thatch But calling an election And...

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Wonder Woman

Wonder Woman

This woman Who had the peopleWonder who she wasAnd wonder whence she cameWas soon only one of 2 players left in the gameShe led some up the garden pathAnd led some to have a laughAt this strong womanWith bangles of goldThe top prize as hersWell that’s what she thought...

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*2 Face(d) as F*ck

*2 Face(d) as F*ck

One who had Visions of grandeur Who sought for himself the Leadership Who was buoyed By one Who wrote BS That was ingested By the Daily Mail readership But alas It was to be sour grapes As a harvest From the withered old vine For his treachery He paid the price...

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B.oris A.nd N.obody E.lse

B.oris A.nd N.obody E.lse

You were the one Who indeed Broke the Bat When you chose To throw in your hat Your motives Were obvious No need to explain Two letters you penned One to leave The other To remain It was at that moment That you became More than an annoyance And more than a pain The...

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Press………….Gang

Press………….Gang

Although the following article mentions one case in particular, we're hoping it speaks for all the journalists that risk their lives to bring us news of wrong doing and corruption by those that deem themselves all powerful....

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That Man Begins

That Man Begins

So moving on (from the "Who Knew" series) but not far (as the players still seem to feature on our TV screens) we would now like to give you our take on those that regard themselves either as (Super) heroes or a Hulking presence when in fact they could quite easily be...

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CON-clusion

CON-clusion

You can bet your bottom dollar we did. INTRUSION (Putin) The first in the following clips allows us to see the rise of Mr Putin but we at the Guff would like to provide a little back story to the whole episode. If you'd like to turn your memory back to Christmas of...

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The Last Straw

The Last Straw

So what did Theresa stumble across whist running amok in the farmers field during her childhood? Is it the same evil that now possesses Boris or has he simply found where the bodies are buried (or somewhere he intends to bury more bodies)?   The CONservative...

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MAY (has had her) DAY

MAY (has had her) DAY

So as Mrs May skulks back to whence she came, we reflect on her rise to power and her very short tenure as PM (only lasting 3 years compared to Maggie's 3 terms, such are the hazards of the current political landscape). There are many who will offer sympathy for Mrs...

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Chairman Mouse

Chairman Mouse

So here we are with the penultimate serving from the "Who Knew" series, featuring the bit player Kim Jong Un. Although some would have us believe that Kim Jong Un is a wrong 'un (assassinating his brother, taking over the family business, tyranical ruler etc etc) we...

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The Bear Facts

The Bear Facts

War and (ear) Piece So this another in the long list of slow drawn out articles from the "Who Knew....." series. This as you can see from the cover image is when we at the Guff would like to try and show our readers the cute and cuddly relationship between the Great...

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Ra Ra Rasputin

Ra Ra Rasputin

The long list of UI's (useful idiots) on both sides of the political divide that act as cheerleaders (Ra Ra) for (Ras)Putin both here in the UK and in the US would have many people asking why or indeed how. Like the mystical monk before him he seems to hold many in a...

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**Flagged Up

**Flagged Up

The subject of patriotism no matter how misplaced is an interesting one and is one that features heavily in many of our articles. We at the Guff have therefore again sourced archive material in the form of images and video footage to try and help the...

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**Flags of my Fuhrers

**Flags of my Fuhrers

The images used are quite interesting as both feature females acting as cheerleaders for their respective leaders. On the one hand we have one that is trying her best to battle the onset of old age and on the other we have one that is trying to encapsulate the...

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Let’s Make a Toast

Let’s Make a Toast

So after winning the referendum the people who orchestrated the plan (or at least those who think they did) seem now to be drunk on power, raising their glasses to a Post Brexit Britain where no one will or can stand in their way. The question being posed today is...

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Irish Stewed

Irish Stewed

As the CONservative party finds itself in a stew (and the Brexshitters are stewing indeed) we at the Guff have again after much searching found a historical film clip that sums up the state of negotiations. Again coincidence is not lost on us as the clip comes from a...

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The Brexshit Bus

The Brexshit Bus

The following clip stars none other than the working class hero Michael Cain (who finds himself supporting a political party that seems less Abel rather than “strong and stable”). https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=HZCaSyid4m0 The clip itself is quite apt as it’s from a...

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Red White and Blue

Red White and Blue

On a daily basis we are spoon fed a “news” story about one or more of the four topics that feature in our graphic. The media wishing to report these stories without reporting the possible links. We at the Guff wish to not only connect these four topics but also report...

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Resurrection

Resurrection

Although this article is about Easter, we at the Guff are not about to start discussing the origins of the festival itself, instead preferring to look at how it is celebrated now. Again for the third year in a row we see a non story or a story of nonsense about the...

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Lady and the Trump

Lady and the Trump

For months now we the viewing public have been treated to a presidential campaign from both sides that have been nothing more than an over hyped, over played Disney cartoon. Donald Trump playing the role of Heroic Prince/Villain and Hillary Clinton cast in the role of...

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Black Li_es Matter

Black Li_es Matter

Since the murder (that coined the phrase that we've paraphrased) of Trayvon Martin, there has been 100's and 100's of Police killings of individuals (of all colours that have seen a disproportionate number of Black victims). Due to such high numbers and in many many...

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HARD LABOUR OR LOVES’ LABOUR’s LOST

HARD LABOUR OR LOVES’ LABOUR’s LOST

When we at the Guff write, we do so with an unbiased agenda, we watch, we read, we consume and hopefully we disseminate all the (mis)information at hand. We give our views as ordinary people who have nothing to gain but everything to lose. It's hard to begin writing...

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CHILCOT REPORT

CHILCOT REPORT

I.E.D Politicians L I.E.D Soldiers D I.E.D Loved Ones CR I.E.D I.E.D The corrupt, lying, blinkered political class of this country hoodwinked the nation into believing that going to war was the right and honourable thing to do, how wrong they were. The main players...

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WE’RE BACK!

WE’RE BACK!

So, much has passed since our last article. In the realms of the rich and powerful, elections have been fought, won and lost (the most powerful one still pending).The latest phone, tablet or other gadget has been unveiled to the gleeful delight of the Mothmen (those...

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AN UNHOLY ROW

AN UNHOLY ROW

  We at the Guff have not only unearthed some groundbreaking (non) facts and (non) truths but have also obtained (from shittyleaks) some interesting images of the young DT. We therefore put this to our readers "Is this fact mirroring fiction, fiction mirroring...

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INFESTATION AT LABOUR HQ

INFESTATION AT LABOUR HQ

It did not take long for the Blairites (or Blairlites) to emerge from the shadows to feed on the still warm political corpse that is Dead Ed. Like the Thatcherites before them they refer to a golden age and an illustrious leader that no one can ever replace or indeed...

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‘REVELATION’?

‘REVELATION’?

Not only have I not voted (I've not had a hair cut for years) Exclusive The Guff reveals that since being old enough to vote (in the 97 General Election) many others like Russell couldn't be bothered to vote either. As 1997 was the year Blair the Younger (future War...

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TWO’S COMPANY

TWO’S COMPANY

As the election looms, the dark shadow of Coalition looms even larger. With the electorate seeming unsure and keeping the politicos and pundits guessing, it would seem that another marriage made in hell may be on the cards (or on the ballot papers). In the past few...

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SPOT THE DIFFERENCE

SPOT THE DIFFERENCE

At School I was always being told to stop smirking when being reprimanded for the latest misdemeanour. I would always argue my case, explaining that it was not a smirk on my face but a nervous smile (my face contorted as not to cry as I knew the impending punishment...

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THE LAST STRAW-BERRY

THE LAST STRAW-BERRY

Is Ageism the new Racism? With the recent defeat of John McCririck losing to a channel that has equality embedded in it’s foundation (now preferring to exploit everyone from the Traveller community to those on benefits in equal measure in the pursuit of equality and...

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PAYING THE PRICE

PAYING THE PRICE

Well it’s that time of year again, when people up and down the country are now counting the cost after celebrating the birth of someone they don’t believe in, by spending money they don’t have, on things they don’t need. I’m just glad that there are companies out...

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A COSTLY WINTER AGAIN

A COSTLY WINTER AGAIN

Up and down the country incensed pensioners are vowing to take the fight to this multi-nationals head quarters (as soon as the weather picks up) a spokes person has said “If they want a fight they’ve got one” adding “The gloves are now off” (well they would be but...

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REMEMBER THE 5TH OF NOVEMBER

REMEMBER THE 5TH OF NOVEMBER

The beasts of the field and the birds of the free air cry out on this day of smokes from a thousand burning waste incinerators (all clean and green you know) that annual phrase to stir the stout hearts of English yeomen and men dressed in black with pointy hats...

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DON’T MENSION THE PENSION

DON’T MENSION THE PENSION

We at the Guff are adding our weight and voice behind our brave fire fighters. We wish to shed some light on their campaign by creating some thought provoking material to highlight the injustices our fire fighters are having to contend with (on top off one of the most...

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JI’MMY SAVILE

JI’MMY SAVILE

If the BBC is affectionately known as Auntie then Jimmy Savile was definately the weird pervy Uncle. If the BBC is affectionately known as Auntie then Jimmy Savile was definately the weird pervy Uncle. Since the demise of Savile and the launch of numerous inquires, we...

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DOWNING STREET GATE

DOWNING STREET GATE

(Because that’s what the story is about) It wasn’t so much what he said - after all the effing being ignored or even accepted as something that is said to police officers up and down the country on any given weekend, but rather it is about a Minister of HM Government...

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THE NUMBERS UP

THE NUMBERS UP

Just recently we at The Guff (and anyone else who can pick up a news paper or turn on the news) have been surprised at how worthless current figures are. As the police (cuffing), the NHS (massaging), the DWP (Jobbing) and others trim the fat of their once bulging...

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BLOOD LUST

BLOOD LUST

How Iain Duncan Smith came to Easterhouse and left with a new vision for the Tory party (Blinding) Vicky Collins (Herald Scotland) Saturday 23 March 2002 IT will enter the political lexicon as the Easterhouse Epiphany. Iain Duncan Smith came, saw, and converted to a...

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THE RICH (T)WIN(S)

THE RICH (T)WIN(S)

Against all odds they have fought for survival. It would seem that the diluted diet of even partial power is enough to sustain this unusual political being (one of only 2 that are known to have survived in the UK in the last 100 years or so) for although joined they...

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PIN-UPS

PIN-UPS

Dear Dave and George, You seem to ask yourselves "It's not what we can do for our Country – but "How we can do ill to our Country, and get away with it". Like a couple of Dandy A*seholes, courtiers of Maggie Anne Toinette you echo her call to the likes of us "Let them...

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