The Bear Facts

War and (ear) Piece

So this another in the long list of slow drawn out articles from the “Who Knew…..” series. This as you can see from the cover image is when we at the Guff would like to try and show our readers the cute and cuddly relationship between the Great Russian Bear and the American Grizzly (or in this case Pooh) Bear. 

The moment Mr Trump came to power it would seem to many that Mr Putin did indeed have the ear of Mr Trump (some may remark that what he had of Trump was far lower on his anatomy and far smaller than his ears). From the off Mr Trump would speak of his admiration of Mr Putin and how he would like to relax the sanctions imposed against him and his regime at the same time as turning on his nearest neighbours (Canada and Mexico to name two) and his dearest allies (NATO members and European trading partners). His perceived fondness of Putin only matched by his (and his new boss’s) hatred of his predecessor President Obama.

The way Mr Trump has fluffed, fowled, fallen, faked, fumbled or merely flatly failed on the domestic and international stage is nothing less than incompetence on his part and shear genius on the part of his Handler Mr Putin. Mr Trump at times sounding like a badly operated ventriloquist dummy, the timing and content of his speeches leaving many laughing out loud or commenting that any act this bad must be a stroke of genius (again we point to the “genius” behind the scenes) after all why get the man in power assassinated when you can get the ass in the White House hated? 

Why has Mr Putin been given such an easy ride when dealing with Mr Trump and the (golden) shower of miscreants he refers to as his administration only he knows, is it their lack of experience, or just their hunger for power, we may never know? Maybe one day when Mr Putin is old and grey he’ll write his memoirs and shame all those who were quite happy to jump into bed with him, revealing the day a very nervous Donald picked up the phone to him to be told “Urine”, or will we be depending on Mr Mueller to bring him (Mr Trump) to book.

As always we wish to present you with some footage that does not necessarily star the people being discussed but once watched the viewer can make their own comparisons.

In this first clip we see Mr Trump being played by Louis Walsh and Mr Putin and his colleague (Vladislav Surkov) being played by Anthony McPartlin and Declan Donnelly.

Here we have actual footage of one of Mr Trumps gaffes during an interview with his beloved Fox and aired by his Boss on Russia Today (or does RT mean “Really Trump”?) in which he thinks he’s had his cake but then gets a little bit of detail stuck in his throat. 

This next clip shows how Mr Putin’s plan is working beyond his wildest dreams, we have the “Leader of the Free World” being laughed at by other World Leaders in his own backyard due to his fantastical speech.

To finalise things we have a language expert to explain the method of Donald’s Madness.