A Bridge Too Far – Boris’s Obsession with Bridges

GuffPost

22nd December 2023

So Boris the Statesman, the PM, the MP, the Entertainer, is no more. Having turned his back on Westminster rather than “letting the people be his judge” Boris decided to flee rather than fight. Being suspended by the “Westminster Elite “is one thing but being rejected by the people is a ballgame he didn’t want to take part in (for now). Boris seems to think that he has what it takes to bridge the gap between those in power and those who are powerless and it’s with this in mind where we find his obsession with bridges. His obsession started at an early age (apparently his favourite fairy tale was the Three Billy Goats gruff, young Boris would regularly act out the part of the troll) but the earliest evidence we have managed to find dates back to the doomed “Garden Bridge” project whilst London Mayor (the cost spent on this project, 53.5 MILLION of taxpayers money before a brick was laid or a trench dug). This large price tag for something that was never ever built didn’t put Boris off, he continued with his obsession and in 2018 as Foreign Secretary proposed a bridge to Europe spanning 22 miles (this was received warmly by French President Emmanuel Macron) but like the Garden Bridge before it, didn’t take shape. Still undeterred, the following year Boris, dreamt up the idea of a bridge to Ireland (at the projected cost of 335 BILLION) but again like the others, it did not materialise. It was becoming painfully clear to all those around him that Boris’s obsession was becoming quite a nuisance and so took the subject of his focus and created an acronym to have people believe that he was competent. Boris Really Is Doing Great Everyone (B.R.I.D.G.E) was their way of masking his outlandish ideas. His next and possibly his last (for now) was his proposal for a number of “Air Bridges” during the pandemic as PM, this like the others was plucked from the air and didn’t amount to anything (but chaos). Fast forward to this year when Boris had to fight for his political career and stand in the possible bye-bye election of UxBRIDGE, this proved to be a bridge too far and rather than stand Boris preferred to lie, by blaming everyone else for his downfall. Now that Boris is busy earning vast amounts of money away from the political arena, we imagine he’ll be busy with some ghostwriter etching out his memoirs. We look forward to seeing it on the shelves.

Archive footage of Boris nearly up to his neck in it, is this the moment when Boris started to visualise the need for bridges?